Ok...here we go...

Like the title says... I'm a nursing student, and I'm fat. There are many factors that has made me want to change my ways, and being a good example to my future patients and my children in towards the top of the list. I have always been a "big" girl... being almost 6 foot helps with that. I have had five beautiful children, which has assisted with the excess weight gain. Nursing school is NOT helping the situation...let me tell ya! I have turned to my close and personal friends Caffeine and Chocolate for comfort...since I have been broken up with my old nasty friend Nicotine for about 10 years now....lol.

I have had a long journey with trying to lose weight... and it started in my teens. I have a family history of heart disease and type II diabetes on my dad's side of the family.... I lost him to these nasty diseases January 2004. He was 54 years old.... he also lost his father (my grandfather) at an early age, 52 to a massive heart attack, my dad was 16 at the time. I knew then, that I did NOT want my children to have to go through losing myself at a early life, and I needed to lose weigh.... I just didn't really know how.

One thing that I battled with was the decision to have weight loss surgery or not.... I mulled over this for a few years.

Then, in early 2007, at the age of 28... I had to be put on antihypertensives... a harsh slap of reality! If I kept going down the road a was going down... I would die at a early age, just like my father and grandfather. So... I bit the proverbial bullet and had a sleeve gastrectomy done July 21, 2008! I thought, "I did it...I've beat this"....however... I got pregnant with my fourth child two weeks after surgery!! Ahhhhhhh!!!!! I can't do anything simple. Luckily however, the surgery I ended up getting didn't deal with malabsorption, so there was very little risk to my pregnancy. April 22, 2009 I had a son... I lost a total of 94 pounds at the end of the pregnancy. Six weeks after I had my son, I chose a new birth control (IUD) so I could focus on losing weight and not growing my family. However... five months later... I found out I was pregnant again!

Remember.... I don't like simple....

July 2, 2010... 14 months after having my last son.... I had my second daughter... she was a surprise.... oh but a great one... we are so happy to have her in our family.

August 2nd I found out that I was excepted into a nursing program through a competitive program.... and would start in five weeks!!!!! I had a choice to make... I chose to push through and go ahead with the program.

Anyone who has gone through a intense program knows that there is usually some weight gain of the student body... literally. I am now half way done with the program, and have gained a sense of accomplishment, new resilience, and... 40 pounds!!! I am freaking out. I am going backwards!!! I had weight loss surgery for crying out loud... I used to be proud to admit it!! Now I'm embarrassed when I see the looks of people's faces. I know that they are thinking that there is NO way I had surgery almost three years ago...and I'm still the size I currently am!

So... I've done some soul searching... I totally understand now why they say that weight loss surgery is really not a cure... I have not yet dealt with the emotional aspect of my addiction to crappy food... I have to reign this in.... or I will be right back to were I was... if not even heavier.... I don't want to be one of the statistics.

I have decided that I need to check myself.... I have looked at my current diet.... I eat soooooo much sugar and carbs! I drink so much of them with my lattes that I have now become dependent on.

One of my great friends told me how her husband has just lost about 40 pounds of belly fat... this intrigued me, since this is were I store about 85% of my weight. I learned that he has followed the nutritional teachings and tips of Jorge Cruise and his Belly Fat Cure. I read his book and web site... and I'm excited.

So...here I am... I've decided to commit to myself to this new way of feeding myself...

Here we go!!! I'm wearing this all on my sleeve... 279lbs today I will be doing weekly weigh-ins only... I will not live by what the scale says....

till next time...