A trip down the WIDE memory lane....

I thought... instead of beating myself up for where I am now... I should look at where I was then.....

Ok.... I'll admit it.... I've come a long way and need to give myself a bit of a break when it comes to the negative self talk... I need to be my own best supporter!

Day Two...

I am day two into the WW program and I'm already trying to screw it up! Not really happy that my wine is costing my four to five points....grrrrrr. I'm being bitchy again and I can't believe I actually cried when Ainsley dumped my bowel of carefully measured out Chinese food onto the floor....oh yeah, all over my lap too boot! Really????? I actually had to laugh at myself after a few minutes of pitiful drama....I thought to myself.... It's food.... Houston....we have a problem... a food problem.

This just proves that I had not really gotten over or really dealt with my issues with food after I had gone through surgery for weight loss. Clearly, if I'm gonna cry like a child over Chinese food... there is some work to be done. This is one big reason I am writing this....putting myself out there (which ain't easy).

When I signed up for WW on Friday and found out that I am able to have 46 points a day... I was geeked! 46 is a BIG number! Ummmmm..... not really, not in WW world! After having what I thought was a pretty good breakfast... I saw my daily point dwindle rapidly.... blah. But.... I just have to buck up and shut up. Get over it, obviously what I have been doing for basically all my life ain't working.... so change is gonna have to happen if I want to change my future health.

My new mantra.... "Go Big or Go Home" and "Suck it up Buttercup" or "Check yo self before you wreck yo self"... that one is a classic....LOL

So hopefully I have a better outlook/attitude the next time I post..... Grrrrrrrrr

Hold the F***K on....!!!

Well.... for myself, the Belly Fat diet did not work for me. Even though I did loss 5.5 pounds in the first week, I was extremely tired (I had to take naps in the middle of three days) over all I felt run down... and not to mention I was the biggest bitch, I actually feel sorry for my husband and children, LOL. Now granted, I was probably going through sugar withdrawals, but the exhaustion was more than just sugar withdrawal. I actually felt more bloated, and this was after losing weight! Water retention is a bitch, let me tell ya. Now, don't get me wrong, it was not completely a waste of time... I really got some insight in how I am a bit addicted to sugar.

I am proud to say that I have had only ONE latte in the past two weeks, and I had that one today, which I'm a bit bummed about. Oh well, tomorrow is a new day. I've been having regular coffee with sugar free hazelnut/ white chocolate flavoring added with cream. Okay... it's not quite the same as a beautifully delicious and creamy latte.... but they gotta go. Lattes are like the abusive husband that is no good for me, however there is just something about the bad streak that drives me crazy and keeps him around...(okay...baby analogy, whatever).

I've been thinking... maybe I need to bring back an oldie but goodie... Weightwatchers!!!! I have done the points before (unofficially), after baby number two, and actually found the system to work... if you work it. They have revamped the program, and I've had some people close to me lose a lot of weight and they have really changed their eating habits and have learned some great life skills.

So...here is to learning by trial and error...

Gotta deal with real life.

During my first week I have had the pleasure of learning how to incorporate my new eating practice with the real world... the dreaded potluck at work......duhduh duh.......

I am glad to report that it was not all bad. I made sure I brought something that I would be able to eat, summer sausage and cheese. I also went ahead and just brought myself a lunch that followed the meal plan. It was a good thing because there was a ton of carbs, and most of them were some favorites... more specifically, carrot cake! I do have to admit it was a bit difficult with trying to shake the feelings of being left out... which is not correct. It was just my brain trying to tell me that if I wanted to participate, I need to eat everything in site. And this is just not correct. It was nice have a fellow coworker/friend that is also eating healthier with a similar diet plan (south beach)... so we laughed about all the stuff we wanted to just devour, but knew in the long run we would be doing ourselves no good if we went with our impulses.

So I ate my sausage and cheese as a snack when setting up the food for the dinner, and then later that night I just ate my lunch that I brought with me. I was able to grab some veggies from the veggie tray that was brought by someone else, which I added to my salad.

Oh yeah...bringing my own lunch has been saving me some money...which a awesome additional side effect of this whole diet thing....

Next obstacle.... going to dinner and then to the bar tomorrow night with friends.... I'm a bit scared, I won't lie.